The Way I Am
by daggerdeath
Summary: Beast Boy is gay. And he doesn't know what to do. T for now.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first story. Don't rip me to shreds... please. _  
_T for now._

_I hate the title. Sorry._

_~Disclaimer~ I do not own Teen Titans or anything related to them._

* * *

Beast Boy P.O.V.

Should I tell them? They might get mad at me. Robin will kill me. I guess I better not. "Friend Beast Boy. You seem troubled. What is the matter?" Starfire asks. Finally aware others were around I put on my trademark goofy smile.

"Nothing's wrong, Star." I am currently dating a civilian. A male civilian. I'm don't think that the rest of the Titans would allow it and they would be disgusted. I jump off the couch and headed to my room. I need to get ready for my hot date with my boyfriend, Jackson. He has beautiful hazel eyes, is 6'4" and has spiky, short, blue hair. I wonder what's going on?. He said it was a he had to talk to me about something. I pull on my favorite black skinny jeans with my purple converse and a graphic tee.  
Jackson and I are meeting was at a park in the middle of Jump City. By the time I arrive Jackson was already there. His face wasn't as happy as it usually was, and he looked like he was deep in thought.  
"Hey Jack!" I beamed.  
" What - oh hi BB." Jackson replied.  
"So what did you want to tell me?"  
"I think we should … um …break up." Jackson said solemnly.  
"Why? Did I do something wrong? Is there someone else?"I ask, starting to panic.  
"No BB. I just think that we don't work well together. I'm kind of a bad boy, you are a superhero. I just can't do it anymore." i know this was complete and total bull shit so I turned into a bird and found his way back to Titan Tower. I walked in on the team watching one of my favorite movies.  
"Yo, BB wanna watch?" Cyborg asked.  
"Nah man." I say trying to hide the fact that i', sad and pissed and mad. The team all look at me like i'm crazy, I never ever turn down WarGames. I make my way to my messy room and started to doodle and draw. I always do it when he wanted to think or was alone with time. It was a habit I picked up from my dad when he was still here. It just starts to hit me. Jack just dumped me. He isn't even that bad of a guy. I know he smoked weed sometimes, but that didn't even bother me. Just when I found someone really liked I had to go and fuck it up. And now i'm hungry. Everyone stared at him as he walked to the kitchen.  
"What's wrong Beast Boy" says our fearless leader, Robin.  
"Nothing" I say as i pull a couple tofu dogs into the microwave. But that's a lie everything's wrong. I just got dumped. I'm gay and I won't even admit it. I retrieve my tofu dogs from the microwave and walk back to my room.

* * *

Robin P.O.V.

Something was definitely up with Beast Boy. He had been acting differently for the past few weeks.  
"I wonder what's up with him lately." I say to the rest of the gang.  
"He has been acting all weird for a couple of weeks" inserts Cyborg.  
"I can sense he has been stressing over something obsessively." tells the empath.  
"Do you know what about?" I ask. I need to know whether or not he's a risk on missions because he is so preoccupied.  
"No, I won't read his mind. That's an invasion of privacy." Raven says already expecting my next question.  
"I am worried about friend Beast Boy." says Star.  
"We all are Star." I say.

* * *

Beast Boy P.O.V.

I really wish they wouldn't worry about me. It just makes me feel even worse about lying to all of them. They probably won't have a problem with my being gay. And I need to get over Jackson. But he was sweet and he would always listen to my pointless stories. I wonder what was the real reason was. Was there another guy? Well it's his loss I guess. I can find someone else right. Well i'm too tired to think anymore.

* * *

_I know it was boring, and short, but oh well_  
_Please review. I'd appreciate ideas but whatevs._


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone for the reviews and favorites and such. Love ya! 3  
~Disclaimer~ I do not own Teen Titans or anything related to them.

* * *

Beast Boy P.O.V.

" Beast Boy! Wake up." Robin knocked at the changelings do  
" I'm up." Beast Boy said with a yawn. ' Why does Robin feel it necessary to wake us up at the crack of dawn to train.' Beast Boy sluggishly got out of his bed and headed for the kitchen to make his signature cereal with almond milk.  
" Since you are all here I think I can tell you that Speedy will be spending some time here in Jump City." tells Robin.  
" Why?" ask Raven in her monotonous voice.  
" He's going to be training and working with our team for a while. There hasn't been as much crime near Titans East."  
" When is he going to get here?" asked Cyborg.  
" Later today." Robin said." Yo BB wanna play some gamestation?"  
" Not right now man."Beast Boy got up and snuck to the roof where he could be alone and think. ' Speedy is a nice guy I guess. I wonder if the team should really worry about me. I'm just bitching about breaking up with my first... significant other since Terra. Shit, I need to stop thinking about her, I always thought that I could've done something. To save her. If Cy could see me now. He'd laugh about me fucking up with some civilian and he'd call me a fag. I can never tell the other titans. They wouldn't understand. Starfire would call me some offensive name in Tamaranian and talk about the sanctity of marriage. Cy wouldn't talk to me, he would just avoid me at all cost. Raven would lose her cool for a second, directed at me. And Robin would just glare disappointedly. Fuck. I wish that I could just be normal. I thought I loved Terra. She was a couldn't I be like everybody else. I mean besides the green skin, hair, and eyes.' Beast Boy glanced at his watch. 'Great I spent an hour and a half being petty.' He climbed off the side of Titans Tower to head back inside.

* * *

Robin P.O.V.

Unbeknownst to Beast Boy a letter had come for him this morning. Addressed as:

to: Beast Boy the Titan

Titan Tower

from: Jackson

Jump City

If you aren't Beast Boy DO NOT OPEN.

'Something is definitely up with Beast Boy. Who is the 'Jackson'. Maybe I should confront him about it.' And that is exactly what the boy wonder did. Beast Boy was just coming through the living room area when Robin confronted him.  
" Beast Boy. What's going on?" Beast Boy's fake small faltered before returning.  
" What do you mean Rob? Nothing's wrong."  
" Then who is Jackson?"  
" What do you mean?" Beast Boy asked already showing to Robin that he knew who this boy was.  
" Someone named Jackson sent you this letter. Who is he?" Robin said while holding the letter up showing Beast Boy. "Did you open the letter?" Beast Boy said in a small voice.  
"No, I respect my teammates privacy. Now tell me who he is!"  
" He's no one. You don't need to know, he isn't important." Beast Boy snatched the envelope from Robin's hand. Beast Boy said while almost crushing the letter. Beast Boy then ran off to god knows where. 'Now I know I have to find out who this guy is and I know just the half-man, half-robot that can help me.'

* * *

" Do you know how many people will have the name Jackson in Jump City?" Cyborg asked incredulously, "Thousands. Thats how many."  
" I'm just trying to figure out what's up with Beast Boy. When I said the name he turned pale. Well as pale as he could get being green. But anyways. We need o figure out what's up with BB."  
" I'll start running a name check throughout Jump City for males under...30 named Jackson, but that will still leaves us with a ton of results Rob."  
" I will ask Rae if she knows who Jackson is, or if she's willing to find out."

* * *

" Raven please. I'm trying to help Beast Boy."  
" I understand that, but reading his mind goes against what I believe. You know that."  
" When I said this guys name BB looked... sad." They both knew that even though that didn't sound that bad it had to be something major for Beast Boy to have his facade break and crumble.  
" I'll talk to him." said Raven  
" Thanks Rae."

* * *

Beast Boy P.O.V.

' Just tell him who Jackson was, as if that was possible. Fuck, Jackson's and idiot he knew I didn't want the titans to know about me. He fucking knew, and now he's sending letters to my fucking doorstep. He broke up with me and now this shit. Robins probably playing Sherlock Holmes again. Asking everyone in the goddamned tower for assistance.' As if to prove Beast Boy's point a knock was heard at the door. Beast Boy got up and answered it.  
" Hi Rae."  
" Hey Gar." Raven only called him by his true name when they were alone." Robin wanted me to ask you what's going on and who's Jackson?"  
" Nothings wrong. I keep telling everyone that, but no one believes me. And Jackson isn't of any concern to the titans. He's not a danger, so stop looking for him."  
" How did you know they were-"  
" They always do." said Beast Boy solemnly.  
" Just tell me who Jackson is. Rob needs to know."  
"Rob doesn't need to know. No one needs to know. He's not a problem I can't solve on my own."  
" So you admit he's a problem?"  
" That's not what I meant."  
" Just give me his last name," suggest the empath " Robin will stop breathing down my neck and yours." Beast Boy was becoming angry. 'We all have our individual secrets. Why do I have to share mine? Why am I important? I can handle Jackson, but no one trust me.' Beast Boy rose to his feet with Jackson's unopened letter in his hand, and headed for the exit, but he stopped at the door frame.  
" I just can't," said the green titan, " Sorry Raven."


	3. Chapter 3

**Speedy's P. O. V.**

When I finally arrived at my new home away from home at Titans West in Jump City, all I heard was the clicking of keys when an obviously upset beast boy flew across my field of vision  
" B east Boy, hey."  
" eh. Oh... Hi Speedy. How long ago did you get here?"  
" about 5 min. What's up? Why isn't anyone around?" Beast boy looked around as if it just dawned on him that they were alone and walked over to the Titans intercom.  
" Speedy is here." Within the next couple of minutes all of the Titans had assembled.  
" Hello friend Speedy." Star was the first to talk. ' I wonder of something is wrong. I can feel the awkwardness, Robin is on edge which isn't that odd. Beast boy is angry which is _very_ odd. Maybe I should ask about it.'  
"Welcome to our Titan Tower." Said the boy wonder. "I'm sure you can tell that there is some ... tension in the air, and because we are teammates we won't keep you in the dark. Beast Boy is hiding something -no someone from us." Everyone looked at Beast Boy.  
"I already told you Jackson isn't a reason to worry. Just leave it alone."  
"Then tell us what the letter says."  
"No!" And beast boy stalked to the roof.  
The empath said " Welcome to Titans West"

* * *

**Beast Boy P. O. V.**

' It is nothing, why don't they get that? He's a civilian he isn't going to hurt any of them. Speedy's timing is really shit.' Beast Boy sighed, and laid on the edge of the roof. He put his hand is in the air above him and loosened the death grip he had on Jackson's letter. It read:

* * *

Dear Beast Boy,

I loved you. But I am a civilian and you are a super. You always silently dealt with your problems,

you never came to me. So I want to tell you that though I don't think we can ever go back to

what we were. I can try to help you, you are not alone. Just contact me through the phone I gave you.

Love,

Jack

* * *

Jackson gave Beast Boy a phone so they could talk without Robin ever finding out. Beast Boy got up and stretched his tired muscles.  
"I wonder if he can predict whether or not I'll be hated by my only friends," Beast Boy pondered aloud. 'I guess I should find out.' Beast Boy then walked back to his room only to find a curious Robin standing inside his room looking through his desk drawers.  
" What the fuck Rob?" The masked hero whipped around.  
" Beast Boy. What is this?" He held up the silver phone that he used to call and text Jackson when they were still together.  
" It's a phone. And you have no right to go through my belongings."  
" Why do you even have a phone? Who do you need to call? Is it Jackson ."  
" I can't tell you, you'll round up him and interrogate him like the criminal he's not, and now. Now give me the phone." Beast boy said as he had a hand outstretched.  
" Why are you protecting him?" Robin asked, his hand unconsciously losing his grip as Beast Boy snatched the phone. Beast Boy didn't bother answering as he exited his room with his phone in his hand. As he stormed out he ran into Speedy. Literally.  
" Hey Speedy,"said Beast Boy putting on a fake smile for the redhead.  
"Hey BB, what's up? You look mad."  
" Robin is being a dick and worrying about things he shouldn't be."  
" He's probably just worried about you." Beast Boy considered it. ' Speedy is probably right I'm just being difficult, but I have my reasons! Speedy is so nice. I hope he likes it here. Maybe he would understand–what are you thinking Beast Boy he'll hate me and then I'll be on the streets again. Running and running and running.' Beast Boy snapped himself out of it remembering he needed to call his only non-Titan friend.  
" I gotta go talk to someone. See you later," says the changeling as he made his way to the beach outside.  
"Bye."

"Hey Jack, it's me Beast Boy. We need to talk."


End file.
